The Second Album: The First Of Its Kind (VRV05)

by Various

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  • Streaming + Download

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  • 8'' Lathe-Cut Hand-Numbered Record
    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    The 419 one-second songs you see here are on Side A. An exclusive bonus song can be found on Side B. Only 25 in existence, each hand-numbered. It's round, it's 8'' instead of 7'', it plays on your record player, it has a unique handwritten quote on the sleeve, it does your taxes and blows you, and it has bonus material. What more could you want?

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Second Album: The First Of Its Kind (VRV05) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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about

Special thanks goes out to:

*You - For listening to this album, you actually did half the work. You provided the demand for the product we supplied. In my eyes, that makes you awesome. If you’re ever in Salt Lake City, let me know, and we can get some sushi together. Unless you’re that one summer camp teacher I had when I was seven who popped my balloon on purpose but let the other kid keep his. In which case I don’t care if you bought this comp, I still hope that you marry someone you love and then they leave you for someone younger with more money.

*A huge number of contributors from /r/NoiseComps on Reddit and from /mu/ on 4chan - A whole lot of these songs came from people whose names and identities we’ll never know. Many or even most will never even hear or know of the final product. They submitted songs simply because they saw a call to. The world needs more people who decide to contribute to things just because they can. Thank you to each and every one of you. Specific recognition goes to Squid Rapes Mouse from Reddit for the ten tracks you’ll find scattered throughout the record, as well as that one anonymous hero on /mu/ who also made many tracks and somehow perfectly understood the spirit of the project.

*Eric Stemshorn - On one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to say “this couldn’t have happened without [person]” because everything that humans do couldn’t have happened if the people who did it didn’t do it. But on the other hand, seriously, this never would have happened without Eric. His contributions can be seen in everything Crn Vrv has done to date, but especially this. He is most certainly the person who did the single most work on this compilation. ayyyyy lmao

[8/10/15, 2:07:18 AM] Eric: Did you credit me for designing the cover?
[8/10/15, 2:07:34 AM] Wolfe: No but I wrote this:
*Eric Stemshorn - On one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to say “this couldn’t have happened without [person]” because everything that humans do couldn’t have happened if the people who did it didn’t do it. But on the other hand, seriously, this never would have happened without Eric. His contributions can be seen in everything Crn Vrv has done to date, but especially this. He is most certainly the person who did the single most work on this compilation.
[8/10/15, 2:07:55 AM] Eric: Okay that works
[8/10/15, 2:07:59 AM] Wolfe: Anything specific you want me to add though?
[8/10/15, 2:08:18 AM] Eric Yes
[8/10/15, 2:08:53 AM] Eric: What the fuck is pickle loaf
[8/10/15, 2:09:06 AM] Wolfe: So
[8/10/15, 2:09:10 AM] Wolfe: You want it to read
[8/10/15, 2:09:18 AM] Wolfe: *Eric Stemshorn - On one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to say “this couldn’t have happened without [person]” because everything that humans do couldn’t have happened if the people who did it didn’t do it. But on the other hand, seriously, this never would have happened without Eric. His contributions can be seen in everything Crn Vrv has done to date, but especially this. He is most certainly the person who did the single most work on this compilation. What the fuck is pickle loaf
[8/10/15, 2:09:24 AM] Eric: Sure
[8/10/15, 2:09:31 AM] Wolfe: Why?
[8/10/15, 2:09:36 AM] Eric: Why the fuck not
[8/10/15, 2:09:44 AM] Eric: Actually
[8/10/15, 2:09:56 AM] Eric: Instead of that
[8/10/15, 2:10:08 AM] Eric: At the end can you just put ayyyyy lmao
[8/10/15, 2:10:37 AM] Wolfe: *Eric Stemshorn - On one hand I think it’s pretty stupid to say “this couldn’t have happened without [person]” because everything that humans do couldn’t have happened if the people who did it didn’t do it. But on the other hand, seriously, this never would have happened without Eric. His contributions can be seen in everything Crn Vrv has done to date, but especially this. He is most certainly the person who did the single most work on this compilation. ayyyyy lmao
[8/10/15, 2:10:44 AM] Eric: Yes
[8/10/15, 2:10:50 AM] Wolfe: Okay hear me out
[8/10/15, 2:10:57 AM] Wolfe: What if it reads out that and then this Skype conversation
[8/10/15, 2:11:24 AM] Eric: Eh fuck it sure

*Wolfe Padawer - I’m the guy typing this up, so I’m thanking myself! And why wouldn’t I? I’m a pretty cool guy. Unless you pop my balloon. Then I will harbor a grudge against you and take it out in the special thanks section of a music release years later. Seriously, that woman should not have been working with children.

*Randy Padawer - The man who loaned me the money to finance the record. You may notice the common last name; this is because, yes, I had to rely on family. So if you spent money on this comp, rest assured it went straight to him in order to begin paying him back.

*Adam Henry Post - Undeniably contributed a lot to the project. And not just the sampled ‘case in point’ audio file; by my count, he made the 3rd most number of tracks. Adam is a good rapper and he makes good toast. He also never once popped a balloon of mine.

*All the other friends who contributed - The list would be too long if I named each and every one of you individually. Actually come to think of it, it probably totally wouldn’t. Michael, Theo, Tom, Marsh. Wow that list is pretty short. I honestly am not sure what I was thinking. Also Charlotte totally tried her best to contribute but didn’t really know how. But all five of you are awesome and you should keep on existing.

Mike Dixon - For physically bringing into being the lathe-cut records. He didn’t pay me to thank him or say this, but if you want to order custom records of your own, his website is lathecuts.com. Mike is fluent in eleven languages (two of which he is the last known speaker of), he is officially the best go-kart racer in the state of Arizona and the third best in the country, and although I haven’t seen it personally, I hear his dick is absolutely massive. I once saw Mike swim down the fourth steepest waterfall in Canada without a scratch, get up, and then swim down the third steepest. Again, I totally promise he is not paying me to say any of this.

*Tate Hrinchuk - I showed him the unfinished comp and he gave me a dollar. This brought the all-time revenue from Crn Vrv Records to one dollar. Since this was my first dollar I probably should have saved it, but I honestly have no idea where it went. I think I accidentally gave it back to him when we went go-kart racing later and I was trying to pay for some of it. I totally beat Tate at go-kart racing, by the way. I wouldn’t be able to beat Mike though, he’s the best go-kart racer in the state of Arizona and the third best in the country.

*Vic Fieger - Created the Extended Play font used on the cover. I have no clue what Vic is like. For all I know he could be a total douchebag. Or maybe he volunteers at the homeless shelter every Saturday. Vic is an enigma, I suppose.

*Small label owners everywhere - You guys are my inspiration. If you’re making noise in your bedroom on a format that peaked in popularity the previous century, then let’s definitely go out for sushi sometime.

*Sushi - Can you believe I never even tried sushi until last year? I just kinda assumed I wouldn’t like it. I tried it on a whim and man, sushi is actually really tasty. Like I couldn’t believe what I had been missing out on. You should go out and give sushi an honest try. Even if you really don’t think you’ll like it at all, just give it a legitimate honest chance.

*All the places we and others stole soundbites from - Not even going to list them all, or even any to be honest, but thanks guys.

*The 13th Conférence Générale Des Poids Et Mesures - For officially defining how long a second is back in October of 1967.

*Garden Path Sentences - For letting us use one of their own as our title.

*Einigungsvertrag - For the 1990 reunification of Germany.

*Johann Martin Schleyer - Pro ädatikom Volapüki ün 1879. E, bi binos luveratik, das no spikols püki at, kanob sagön dinis noföl, kelis vilob du nolob, das no osuemols. O motakoitan, osömitamapünob mekädo glüetaluhogü blod ola. Odudranolöd löpiodräniko dogi olik ed olukoitükolöd oni naudalumitamasatu deadik levemo bludölu. Televidasökod el Dexter vedon gudikum progedo.

*Anonymous Omegle guy - Years ago, I had an hour long conversation with a guy on Omegle who was a Serbian Orthodox Christian. He told me that, according to “the prophecy”, when Russia reached a population of 180 million, France would collapse and the anti-Christ would be born. Those who refused to be chipped and tracked by the anti-Christ would be unable to buy things and would starve, but they would also be righteous and go to heaven. I would like to thank him for warning me of the impending terror we will all experience. Keep a close eye on that Russian population, people.

*What the fuck does case in point mean - Is it case in point for the fact that, hey, I get angry at something I'm passionate about? Apparently, that's an immature emotion. That makes no sense, at all. And no, I think I personally am mature. I don't think I'm the most mature person in the world, but I think that to some extent, I warrant being treated like a young adult, 'cause that's what a young adult is. When you're eighteen you turn to adult, at which point, do you call yourself a young adult? At what arbitrary age do you say, now you're a young adult? I consider myself a young adult! People treat me like a young adult! Lucas treats me like a young adult! My health teacher, everybody considers me, at my school, a young adult! And I want to be treated as such; I don't want to be taken away from a computer just because my parents, I, like, said something to my parents, I mean like, I understand if I have brutally offended them, or I've said something wrong. But I don't really do that anymore. I don't treat them the best, but I don't treat them the worst, I'm a teenager, these things happen. But I don't want, but I feel, it's absolutely ridiculous, it's beyond ridiculous, to be punished, and be stripped away of something, where you're, when you're, old enough to be able to think, and just like, I know you think you're probably immature and that you're, you're not, like, you're not capable of making decisions, 'cause of your views on age of consent or whatever, but I'm not like that! I think I'm perfectly capable and responsible for my own being, and my parents treat me as such. They tell me I can go to bed whenever I want, and I usually respect it, because I know what's good for me. They know, they, if anything, it shows me that they have high respect in me, and high respect of my standards and what I'm capable of, and I'm well, mature enough to actually be able to go to bed early if I need to; when to study, they don't tell me, 'study study study', constantly, 'cause they know, I will do it, on my own accord, and that's why I have a 4.3 GPA at the moment. If anything, it doesn't, uhh, it's not bad, it&